Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I'm having some last minute anxiety - am I really going away for almost a week???

So it's almost here.

Tomorrow, I'll leave my babies for the first time ever overnight for BlogHer.  But it isn't just overnight - it's four overnights.  And five days.

Oh goodness.

I've never been away from either child for longer than a work shift.  There have only been one or two days ever in Little Man's life that he hasn't seen me at all during a day {if I leave for work before he wakes and come home late after he's asleep} and Little Lady has never gone for 24 hours without seeing me as she's up in the night still.

I know they'll be in very capable hands, as DH is taking off of work to do daddy duty while I'm gone, but that doesn't make me worry any less about if they'll miss me or how horribly I'll miss them.  {And seriously friends, cross your fingers for DH.  He's never done night wakings, and he's about to get a dose of four nights in a row!}  Even before I leave, I'm wondering if Little Man will wake and ask for me, or if Little Lady will fuss at night when I'm not the one to soothe her back to sleep.

These faces.  Seriously - I just cannot love these kids enough.


I can't say that this doesn't come with a little bit of excitement though.  Because I've never been away from my kids, I haven't had a night of sleep in the past two and a half years that either hasn't been interrupted or hasn't been tethered by carrying around a monitor or constantly knowing that someone could wake any second.  Or being woken each morning at a time earlier than I'd normally wake.  The mere fact that I can choose to sleep all night if I want to and wake exactly when I want to in the morning is almost lulling me into a dreamy sleep already.  Ahem... I mean - you know - not to mention all the amazing things going on at the conference for which I'm excited!

But it definitely will be very different than the non-stop, constant, amazing, but life-changing tough parent life I've been living for the past few years.

What I'm hoping?

DH and the kids will have an easy time of it, and I'll be so busy at the conference that I don't have time to think about the little feet pattering around the kitchen floor or the little babbles and coos coming from my teeny babe habitually worn on my back.

Maybe we should cross some fingers for me, too.

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5 comments:

  1. Enjoy your time at BlogHer, Jayne! You are going to have a great time, and this will be a good experience for your DH as well. :) I can't wait to hear all about the conference!

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  2. We are going to have so much fun! I can't wait! Still, like you I am having a bit of last minute anxiety over leaving my husband and Evie.

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  3. This is exactly why I cancelled this year. No judging, I promise, I just couldn't leave Ethan yet not sleeping through the night and didn't want to be pumping at a conference. You all will have a great time and I can't wait to follow you along!

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  4. We are the same - I am constantly on a roller coaster of tears and giddy excitement. I just keep telling myself it will all be ok. I also thank my lucky stars to be rooming with someone who has the same issues as me <3 It will make the inevitable sob fit I have far less embarrassing.

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  5. Thank you guys! I definitely feel like it is needed, because I haven't had really any time away to myself since January of 2011, but at the same time I think it's never going to be easy for me to do this - whether it is now or when the kids aren't babies any more.

    I do think it will be really great for DH to have this time alone with the kids, too. I don't feel as bad about leaving for a few days when I think about all the time away he's missed by being such a great dad and husband and supporting us with all of his work trips. It will be great for him to have that one on one time with the kids as well.

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