Tuesday, June 4, 2013

One year later - Little Lady lost and found.

The other day I was cleaning out some paperwork sitting around my office, and found this:

Crumpled and warped from the rain that day
That is the pamphlet given to DH & I when we had just been told that Little Lady was not going to be a take home baby, along with the medication I was given to help speed up the miscarriage and manage my bleeding.

Thankfully (that word just doesn't seem strong enough), that bleeding never came.

Almost exactly a year later from that point, I have a beautiful, amazing, little baby whose smile lights up my entire life.  Little Lady is perfect in every single possible way, because she is exactly herself - even with her rocky ride into this world.

There are a lot of decisions in my past that I am so unbelievably glad I made, but none more than when I allowed my body to progress on it's own as it would with this pregnancy - when I didn't take the medication I was given that would have certainly ended the now-blazingly-apparent normal pregnancy of my daughter.

DH & I have talked about it a little bit since that time.  In the future, if I were to have bleeding or similar issues with an early pregnancy - we're not sure what we'd do.  The alternative to gaining too much information and being fearful for no reason is not having any information and believing I was still pregnant for a period of time even if I wasn't.  We're not quite sure what we'd do if ever put in this situation again.

Hopefully, we won't ever have to hear those words again that our child wasn't going to make it.

For now - and forever - I am soaking in every sweet smile, every soft coo, and even every frustrated cry, because even on the worst cranky baby or mama days, I don't even want to think about the other path our lives could have taken.

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  1. Thankfully. Truly not a big enough word for this. <3


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