Monday, March 4, 2013

Parenting- It doesn't have to be terrible.

Picture this scene-  

One newborn is napping in a swing.  One toddler is sitting at the table happily and quietly feeding himself, watching his mama iron and fold laundry.  No food throwing, no tears from either child, no frustrated parent.

That just happened in my household.  This morning, I was able to finish putting away some laundry, run and put away a load of dishes, write three blog posts, and iron and put away DH's work clothes while naps happened.  This was all in the same morning that I fed, diapered, and cared for both my toddler and my newborn, who are now both in cloth diapers as well.  

And may I also mention that I slept a wonderful eight hours in a row last night, and have only needed to ask my husband for help with either baby at night two times since our second child was born?

So... you may wonder why I'm telling you all of this.  (After your initial run of swear words peter out at how great this sounds!)  

Well, I want to be honest.  

With both pregnancies of mine, everyone told me how much it was going to suck after the babies were here.  People try to scare you at every opportunity they can, and they did.  When people told me horror stories of years without sleeping and terribly fussy children, I wondered what the heck I was getting myself into on many occasions.  When people told me those horror stories again, but worsened with multiple children coming into the picture prior to having little lady, for whatever reason, I again listened and feared for my happy family of three's existence.  

That hasn't been the case.  

DH and I are EXTREMELY lucky to have an easy toddler who sleeps well and (other than the past week or two as he is cutting his two year molars) has adjusted wonderfully to a new little sister.  We are also extremely lucky to have a new baby who barely fusses when she needs something and sleeps an average of 6-8 hours per night.  But we're not the only parents who've ever been in this situation.  There are tons of situations like our own!

It just seems to me that the only stories people are willing to tell are the horror stories.  For fear of things changing because you jinx yourself, for fear of sounding boastful, for many reasons.  

Of course, not every day is as uneventful and happy as this day was.  There are certainly days where both children need me at once, or both children need more of me than I feel I can give.  But those seem to be the exception, not the rule.

I really, really hope this does not come across as boastful- just honest.  Because, for my friends and readers out there who don't yet have children, or have one and are afraid to add another to the mix, it doesn't have to be all gloom and doom.  Surely, we have those tougher days where I barely am making it until DH gets home.  You know.  Those days where you're covered in spit up, food, & small children and are counting down to bedtime.  But in general, most days I'm able to have both children clean and happy, complete a few chores, and have a warm dinner waiting on the table for DH when he walks in the door.  

It's doable.  No- it's more than doable.  It's great having two children.

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5 comments:

  1. I think it's important you shared this. I think everything surrounding children has become taboo, which is a shame, since it's such a natural, amazing, and necessary part of life!

    It's amazing how much fear is instilled about people about pregnancy. I was scared myself throughout much of it because of all the stories and all the terrible things that can happen. But in the end, everything ended up fine and I had a perfect, healthy baby boy.

    In a world obsessed with concentrating on the negative (just look at the media!), it is easy to forget not only that the world isn't such a horrible place... but that we only get to do it once, and should enjoy the journey for what it is: beautiful. Of course no day is perfect, but it isn't supposed to be. As long as you have some perfect things happening among some of the not-so-enjoyable events, that should be enough.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  2. i feel the same way! well, not about two kids yet because i don't know about that. i will say this though: i'm glad everybody complains because i have been pleasantly surprised at every stage so far. i like going in expecting the worst. but i have had the same thoughts as you,plenty of times. maybe we're just lucky? i don't ask questions. i just go with the awesome flow.

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  3. Thank you for this. I'm not a mom yet but I've been terrified by the blogging world about having babies. Thanks for sharing about your good day:)

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  4. All I can think to say is good for you? Not sure if I think this is boastful, or just pointless, or both? I think that is the title that throws me off. Having a difficult child doesn't mean you are saying parenting is terrible... just difficult.

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  5. I have two babies under two and I feel the same way you do. I love having two kiddos and I absolutely love that they are so close in age. This morning was one of our challenging mornings, but after a snack for the toddler and a nap for the infant all was well again. I cherish every moment with my babies and wouldn't change any of them for the world.
    I think your honesty is great. Positive and encouraging words can go a long way.

    ReplyDelete

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