Sunday, September 23, 2012

Who knows how to slow down and relax every so often?

I don't.

Last pregnancy, with little man, I rested at every opportunity, put my feet up, decreased my work hours some, and just in general watched very carefully what I did.  

This time?  Not so much.  I've been adding hours at my- count them- three jobs, picking up extra projects at home, designing/implementing little man's toddler room, writing for three blogs currently, and just in general never sitting down.

It may have to do with chasing around a small but mobile toddler, but I think there is so much more to it than that.  I really have approached this pregnancy completely differently mainly due to this being our second child.  

Since I found out I was pregnant again, I'm pretty positive that I've taken TWO naps total during the daytime, and both were on the weekends when DH was home and available to be with little man.  Little man's naptimes are for productivity for me, not for napping!  The two times I've actually taken naps are when I really pushed my body too far, and I could barely function after because I was so tired.  The one time I remember, I worked all Saturday, then came home, picked up DH & little man, and we headed off to the grocery (which always takes at least 2 hours for whatever reason).  We stopped a few places on the way home from the grocery, and by that point, I was exhausted.  I really could barely help DH bring little man or the groceries into the house or put them away.  I'm pretty positive I just mumbled something and went upstairs to lay down.  

As a mom, I feel that I've transitioned very easily into putting everyone else first, and myself last, but that is to a fault sometimes.  There are times when I need to realize that yes, I am carrying another baby right now as well, and there are going to be days- I'm sure more and more as I get closer to my due date- where I just need a break and a minute to rest my body for a few minutes.  It is tough though to justify.

It seems not only to be a problem with life at home, but I also don't get out anywhere near as often as I have before.  I've made significant efforts to help DH continue to golf, spend time with friends, go to the gym, go to football games with friends (he splits a season pass, so he does get to go frequently).  Because we don't have access to family or friends in our area to watch little man (we have 1-2, but I really try to save those friends for emergencies!), that means if DH is out once or twice a week, I am home with little man doing the daytime or nighttime routines by myself, which is getting harder and harder as I get bigger and bigger.  It is really good for DH to get out as he is a super social guy who feels better when he is active and interactive in things.  But, I don't do anything like that for myself.  In the past 6 months, I can honestly say that the only thing I've done for me is go get a pedicure once.  This was mainly because DH called me after a Saturday work shift and told me not to come home until I did something for me.  

Here is a prime example of how often I get out.  I went to look for a picture of myself out relaxing with a friend.  The last one I could find was obviously time-stamped from 2005.  Back when cameras actually time-stamped pictures, lol.
(And, really, if we're talking about getting out on the town, DH & I have been on exactly two dates since little man was born almost two years ago.  One was legitimate where we went to dinner and a matinee movie.  The second we came home after about an hour because we were both tired and missed little man.)

So what is my disconnect?  I am just as important as my husband, in terms of my physical and mental well-being, but it is just really hard for me to justify to myself actually DOING things for myself.  And the relationship between my husband and myself is extremely important to me.

I need to make this a priority for myself, but...

...I guess I'm still working on it.

How have you transitioned into caring for your family and yourself at the same time?  Have you found a balance?

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1 comment:

  1. I find it incredibly amazing that someone who I have never met and found on a women's pregnancy board can have so many of the same personality traits that I have. I always have, and probably always will, put everyone else about myself. Just last week, I admitted to Hubby just how much I've been doing this lately and that there are times I need him to point it out or tell me to do something for myself. I think it's the only thing that reminds me I'll be a good mom. It's good to know that other women have the same struggle. Your entries are always so reassuring!

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